(no subject)

[the_muppet]

Feeling quite down this morning, but trying hard to shake it off/ignore it.  The reasons why are behing the cut, but you can skip this if you like  ;)

Well, I guess the main reason is I have a quite important meeting on Tuesday to attempt to resolve my potentially screwed financial situation - and I honestly couldn't say which way it will go - and that's not just me being pessimistic.  I've tried (successfully) to not think/worry about this meeting the last couple of weeks, but this weekend it's been the first thought in my head when I wake up in the morning.  Therefore I need to concentrate the next couple of days on pushing it out again - there really is no point at this stage worrying about it - whatever happens will happen on Tuesday.

Also, I'm alternately pissed off/upset about what I perceive to be the situation over at the forum right now - I say perceive because I am a little paranoid at times, and I do tend to take things personally.  As predicted, I was primarily blamed for the guidelines we put in place to stop the ridiculous amounts of spam posts we were getting - and I stick by that decision.  And yes, I pushed for this to happen, but then so did those who took the time to email Gater or myself to say it was getting ridiculous.  I took a little flack at the time, mostly privately, but way less than I'd expected, so I thought it was all OK.  Since then, though, the general atmosphere over there feels different, and I'm not the only one who's noticed it - it was commented on the other day in an email a friend sent me.  Also, (and this is where my paranoia shows!) I get the distinct feeling that the majority of what I post is ignored.  Sure, I sometimes get some sort of half-hearted response, but usually it's nothing - and that's since the guidelines issue.  I try really hard to generate posting when things get slack for a while, and these days it just fails every time.  Other people do the same thing and get instant results. It should piss me off, but I just find it upsetting, but that's my fault cos I take things to heart too much.  I have seriously contemplated the last few weeks, just pulling out of there altogether - it's not like I don't have enough RL stress - but I helped set that place up and it would be a huge wrench to walk away from it.  And because I'm finding this subject very upsetting, I'm going to leave it there.

I'm hoping to start on a vid today - sadly not SGA as I don't have enough material yet.  It's an F4 vid, which I would like to get finished before next weekend for The Boy as it's his birthday this week  :)

Also, on the search for Season 2 of SGA - all help appreciated  :)

*Hugs to all*

Comments

[gayalondiel.livejournal.com]

At the risk of completely overstepping my bounds, I do have two cents to add... I like the forum the way it is now. I lurked on and off a while back, and I actually found it to be quite an uncomfortable and intimidating place, which is why I never posted there before. Recently, on the other hand, I've found it to be more open and welcoming to the pathologically shy newbie.

And as for you, I very much value you and the generous postage and comments that you write. And I know I'm not the only person who thinks so. So there. :p

*hugs to you*

Gaya x

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

Gaya - thank you. What you've said is much appreciated, I honestly can't tell you just how much :)

*hugs*

M x

[(Anonymous)]

Nooo, you can't leave the forum!

*hugs*

It'll all fall apart - Gater's too lazy and incompetent to deal with the forum alone. She never realises when anything's broken and always needs you to give her a nudge. You have always kept things together, kept discussions alive and the community buzzing. You made the forum happen, right from the beginning when the other one got hacked.

Screw the other people who don't appreciate what you've done and what decisions you and Gater had to make - it was all for the best, creating a better environment for everyone. You really shouldn't take any more flack than Gater does, it was her choice too.

I love the forum, I love how it's evolved. I can't say I've particularly noticed members "ignoring" you. Though, I know I'm not in there as much as I'd like to be. I really don't want you to be upset about this. Of course you can take a break from the forum, but whatever you do, don't leave it forever. And you can't turn into a lurker either!

Now missy-moo, follow these instructions: put a finger on both corners of your mouth and push upwards. There you go! A lovely smile. =) Just like that.

Now go eat some cake and watch McShep vids.

(",)

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

Calm down you - I'm not going anywhere, I'm just venting a little :)

Yes, there are days I'd like to be able to walk away from it, and today is one of them - but I can't ..... I feel I've put too much into it to just give up, so I vent, stomp and throw things a little, get calmed down by lovely people who are patient with me, then go back.

I don't have any cake :/

But I DO have McShep :)

*leer*

[azonia.livejournal.com]

Oh Muppet! And you've been sounding so happy recently *huggies* I know what it's like to stress over financial situations, I hope everything turns out ok for you.

Although I don't visit the forums anymore, and I'm sorry about that. But I just can't take certain people, and how people are in certain fandoms, and I seem to take things too much to heart. But I don't think you should skip out. Your the one who keeps it together.

I'll see what I can do about looking for downloads of S2 of SGA for you :)

*mega huggies*

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

I also take things too much to heart, but I think also at the moment I'm seriously freaked out by what will happen on Tuesday, and much as I've managed to keep a lid on it for the last couple of weeks, it just seems to be sneaking back up on me the last couple of days.

And you're right - I have been sooooo much happier lately. I'm fine really, just felt the need to vent a little this morning - and really, the forum is nothing like the bitch-fest I know some places can be! I think (hope) Gater & I have made sure of that ;)

I'm being a fussy moo about my S2 SGA downloads - I've found some with the Sci-Fi logo and some without .... so am starting to get picky! :D

*big hugs*

M x

[http://users.livejournal.com/_gater_/]

*hugs*

Thinking of you today, hope things go better than you first thought.

Happy McShepping!

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I saw this Tuesday morning and it was much appreciated :)

*hugs*

M x